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Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Welcome to these Funny Inspirational Quotes about life. Let these inspiring Funny quotes and sayings give you a new perspective about life - the profound mix of the inspirational and the lighthearted in life.
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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
- Isaac Asimov
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- Deconstructing Harry (1997)
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
What we got here is... failure to communicate.
- Cool Hand Luke (1967)
The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain
You have to learn to push the guilt under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- Woody Allen (Chris Wilton - Match Point - 2005)
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France
Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
- Deconstructing Harry (1997)
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
- Walt Disney
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-Erica Jong
Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
Some people are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
Life would be infinitely happier
if we could only be born at the age of eighty
and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- Woody Allen - Annie Hall (1977)
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- Anything Else (2003)
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
- Yasser Arafat
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- Deconstructing Harry (1997)
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once.
Anything. One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- Love and Death (1975)
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg
Doubt is not a pleasant condition,
but certainty is absurd.
- Voltaire
Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
- Mark Twain
The road to success is always under construction.
- Lily Tomlin
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-
Mark Twain
Do not speak to me of rules. This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain
The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
- Anonymous
Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain
Half a truth is often a great lie.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- Simon Birch (1998)
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-
Napoleon Bonaparte
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana
God writes a lot of comedy...
the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
- Chinese proverb
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas.
I'm frightened of old ones.
- John Cage
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
-
Mark Twain
If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
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